20180618_151924Sometime last week while watching television my 11year old daughter drew close holding me and asks “mummy why don’t you pamper me everyday the way you have since I have not been feeling well”?
And I was stunned as that question was unexpected.
“Do you mean pamper you on a daily basis”?And she responds with a smile “Yes”.

I needed to understand better hence this dialogue.
Mummy: why do you think I went the extra mile to do things for you these past days?
Daugther: because I have not been feeling well and won’t be able to do them by myself
Mummy: do you expect this treatment every day?
Daughter: it will be nice.
Mummy: (still shocked) it will be nice to bath you, cook, dish and serve you, watch you eat, dot over you step by step? But where will home training and discipline come in?
Daughter: hmmmm, she hugs me and with a smile she says mummy I just love you.

Thereafter, while going through the conversation in my mind I began to ask myself, if I am really that tough on her and her siblings? How do I balance being a “tough” mum with being a “soft” mum?
Parenting can be a hard assignment, but one that must still be carried out following the rules otherwise like a pack of dominoes everything you have been building over the years can coming crashing before your very eyes.
In as much as I would love for everyday to be a “pamper-day” I know that some other needed ‘ingredients’of parenting must be infused in the process.
I love every part of being a mother. But most times it can be a hard assignment (being loving and firm at the same time) but someone’s got to do it, why not me.

How are you are you getting along with your mummy duties? Let’s share our challenges, tough experiences at the same time learn from one another.

Thank you for taking time to read this and waiting to hear from you.

  • Kaka Osoko
    Posted at 19:39h, 18 June Reply

    Being on mummy duty is a tough call especially when you have teenagers. It’s a very tricky time that if one is not careful a wide gap will be created just because of improper balancing. For me it’s a challenge because I want to be their friend and mother at the same time so when I ask them to do their chores for instance they’ll drag their feet and I find myself nagging and complaining because they always want to do it at their own time. Now, I know complaining is not in our best interest, I can’t spank them anymore and at the same time I want them to know that I’ll love them anyway. It’s a tough call so now we disagree to agree irrespective of how we all feel.

    • theschoolofmothers
      Posted at 12:18h, 25 June Reply

      Hmmm, I strongly believe that Motherhood is a School. We are teachers by calling but also students. I also found out as my children grew into their teen years that I had to learn a new approach, manner of speaking and generally taking them as young adults. It is indeed an interesting journey. Thank you for sharing sis.

  • Maureen Adenuga
    Posted at 12:02h, 25 June Reply

    Great write up “ Tough mum, soft
    mum” As mums it’s necessary to give tough love to our children. My belief is that a disciplined and well brought up child will reap the fruits when grown up. Keep the write ups flowing.

    M. Adenuga.

    • theschoolofmothers
      Posted at 12:14h, 25 June Reply

      I totally agree with you. Like I say, it is important to start with the end in mind. What picture do we have of our children as they grow up? Even the bible in Proverbs 29 v 15 & Priverbs 10 v 1 states clearly the shame of a badly brought up child falls solely on the mother. Need I say more? Thank you so much for this perspective.

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