COMMON PARENTING MISTAKES

COMMON PARENTING MISTAKES

We know that being a parent is a task not meant for the faint hearted. Like most things in our lives it also requires huge attention, consistency, dedication, planning and loads of prayers. Parenting is a life long task and it thus needs to be taken seriously.

Let me also reiterate that there is no perfect parent out there (except of course, God our heavenly Father), we all are in the “school of parenting” and our experiences defer.
The Word of God however, is the absolute source for good parenting skills and style. Whether you are a first time parent or you have been in the business for a while, you can not go wrong abiding with it’s proven guide.

I have been a parent for close to twenty-one years now and I can categorically say that “parenting is serious business”. It can not be overemphasied that to be a successful parent you need to invest heavily in yourself; attitude wise, self discipline, spiritual growth and continuous learning, unlearning and re-learning strategies. You can not afford to be an out-dated parent and so true is the saying ” you can not give what you don’t have”.

The other day I was in a conversation with an elderly man, we were sharing on life, family, parenting and other general matters. But what struck me most were a few things that centred on his perception and approach about parenting.
Yes, I agree his generation and their ideas of how parenting should be is way different from what is obtainable today, but we have a few basic guides that parents can build on to make a good success of this amazing privilege of being parents.

Favouritism. Showing more love towards one child over the other. Rebekah and Jacob, then Jacob with Joseph. It breeds sibling rival, envy and can be deadly like both examples mentioned.

Not teaching our children the family visions and values. This is a fundamental necessity that as parents we overlook believing the children are young and not able to understand. On the contrary, the formative years of a child is the ideal time to instil such visions and values which in turn help such child to grow up a wholesome adult.
The story of Abraham and God’s confidence in his ability to teach his children and household the Lord’s command is a good step to follow.

Fathers (mothers) do not provoke your children, or they will become discouraged. Col 3 vs 21. We can parent our children in such a way that we provoke them to anger and discouragement. There are times when we so provoke our children that anger is the fitting and inevitable response.
Once heard of a young boy who ran away from home because he felt his parents were too harsh with/on him. The military/dictatorship approach maybe counterproductive.
We must realise that though they are young and will want to respect us as parents, they hurt when dealt with unfairly. Even as parents we must learn to talk to, correct them in love, Proverbs 15 vs 1.

Busy-ness. No matter how successful we become in our careers and businesses, we can be complete failures as parents if we do not pay keen attention on our children.
Mary and Joseph Luke 2 vs 43-52 experienced a bit of what the cost of this can be but for us the times we live in are perilous and demands more from us, more of our time, close monitoring on how to children are brought up, people you allow around your children, what they are watching both on tv and online.

Lack of role modelling. Most times if you ask a child today who his/her role model is, you will likely hear names of accomplished men and women in their fields of endeavours. I have always wondered why we hardly hear mummy or daddy. We should be our children’s role model. They must see in us qualities worth emulating.

Lastly, parents we must learn to be fathers as well as daddies, mothers as well as mummies. There’s a huge difference and balancing both roles will certainly help you in your responsibilities towards your children.

We thank you for your support, comments and encouragement in the first quarter of this amazing year. @tsom we pray the month of April will overflow in goodness, joy and great rewards for all your endeavours.

Giving it our all is much more rewarding.

6 Comments
  • Kikachi
    Posted at 09:13h, 12 April Reply

    As a child with four other siblings, I can fully agree that favouritism can be very damaging on the relationships siblings have. This was such an insightful read !

    • tsom-admin
      Posted at 02:12h, 14 April Reply

      Thank you Kika, this validates how timely this post is. I believe looking at this topic from your angle makes it all the more necessary for the fsmily unit to work more on its imperfections.

  • Loveth
    Posted at 10:08h, 12 April Reply

    The role modelling part really got to me. Parents should not be lacking in values/ character, and expect the children to be excellent.
    There is sure need for us to humbly unlearn and relearn.
    Thanks for the write-ups ma’am.

    • tsom-admin
      Posted at 02:07h, 14 April Reply

      So we well put. If we must see the next generation be better we must do better. Thank you sis.

  • Henrietta
    Posted at 11:00h, 12 April Reply

    Excellent topic for parents, favouritism is
    not good in any way it makes the other
    siblings feel less loved,lack self esteem.
    Yes as parents we should not show it.
    It brings division in the family.,We should
    teach our children to love one another.
    By so doing cooperation will be there among them.

    • tsom-admin
      Posted at 02:05h, 14 April Reply

      I totally agree sis, but I observe this is still a big challenge for most parents to work round.

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