17 Mar Deliberate Parenting
Welcome to ‘mummy-land’.
We shall formally kick off our weekly post with this article captioned ‘Deliberate Parenting‘.
Like most things in life that we make deliberate efforts to learn, being a mother is no exception. In His infinite wisdom and grace God has deliberately wired the woman with the heart of a mother, whether to her biological, spiritual or adopted children.
As such we need His wisdom and enablement to be the best mother we can be.
Our focus on deliberate parenting will be God the Father❤. Ironic as we are talking of a school of mothers, but we shall see that God exemplifies the mother we all desire to be.
What does being deliberate here mean? It will connote a conscious, careful, purposeful, intentional style of parenting. It all begins with the thought. And this thought comes way before you ever become a mother. What fantasies did you have as a growing child? Did you see yourself being drawn to children? Like me, did you have those desires to have girl children you could dress up in those cute attires and ponytails? How about the number of children you desired to have and all the love you will shower on them? If you passed through this phase of growing up as a young girl then you will find out life is more than wishes.
In the book of beginnings, Genesis, we find that God our Model was very careful, intentional even about creation. Careful thinking and execution went into what we know as creation. Likewise, Luke 14 v 28 advices on the need to carefully consider and be intentional about any project we choose to embark on.
Peradventure motherhood came upon you before you were actually prepared worry not, also you may have been on duty as a mother for a while, you will agree that the learning is never done.
This ‘concept’ will also involve a conscious methodical working of goals. Kindly note that I do not overlook the strong effect of a father figure in the life of a child, but years of research and collective experience points to mothers as key influencers in raising up a child. I once heard way back “that everything, every detail matters” and I totally agree. Raising children all gifted differently, having different ambitions, temperaments requires some skill but most importantly cooperation between parents and children.
So what skills you will ask? After all our foremothers didn’t go to school and yet did a great job at raising responsible and useful children.
Deliberate parenting skills are effective only when you have the end result in mind from the onset. What picture do you see?
Strategic/Intentional parenting methods: I first heard this phrase during one of my many sessions with my husband. You see many years back I made it a habit to often as possible sit down with my husband and just discuss on home affairs, our relationship, the children and our plans for them. He will always tell me that as the children are growing especially into their teen years there was a need to adopt and adapt ways of being current in our parenting style.
You will agree with me that the children of the 20th century are a unique generation, the bible in Proverbs 22 v 6 says, ‘ Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it’. In conclusion, there is a way to go, and if there is a way to go, then we need to apply ourselves to finding that ‘way ‘ and implementing the ‘way’.
…to be continued
What is your take on this? We will love to hear from you. Kindly drop your thoughts in the comment box.