Frankly Speaking

Frankly Speaking

Artwork
The young Mother set her foot on the path of life. “Is this the long way?” she asked.

And the Guide said: “Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it.

But the end will be better than the beginning.” But the young Mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years.

So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried,

“Nothing will ever be lovelier than this.”

Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said,

“Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and nothing can harm us.”

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary.

But at all times she said to the children,” A little patience and we are there.” So the children climbed, and when they reached the top they said,

“Mother, we would not have made it without you.”

And the Mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said, “This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness.

Yesterday I gave them courage. Today, I’ve given them strength.”

And the next day came strange clouds, which darkened the earth, clouds of war, hate and evil; and the children groped and stumbled, and the Mother said: “Look up. Lift your eyes to the light.”

And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the darkness. And that night the Mother said,

“This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God.”

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent.

But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide.

And Mother said,” I have reached the end of my journey.

And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them.”

And the children said,

“You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates.”

And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her. And they said:

“We cannot see her but she is with us still…

Being a reflective person, once a while I pause and look around me, I try to observe my life with the eye of a spectator. I try to evaluate myself in my various roles but especially in my capacity as a mother.

The essence of this exercise is to tell myself the truth. However, over time I found a better way, a more objective way of learning that truth… it lies in asking my children what they think of the job I am doing as a mother.

You won’t believe the responses I have received over the years.
I have been labelled Hard, Strict, Playful, Preacher, Teacher, Cool Mum, Best Friend, Counsellor, Go-to-Mum, Cute Mum and much more.

Through this exercise,
*I have come to learn their collective and individual expectations.
* I have come to understand better how to relate with each child.
* I have learnt better mothering skills and Coaching skills.
* I have learnt more about ME and areas to improve on.

Indeed it is not a smooth ride. There have been many days and nights of contemplating, praying and asking for more grace to do the right thing before;

God- (the Giver of these awesome gifts),
The children- (the Heritage of the Lord) Myself- (Chosen and Blessed among women).

“Am I a good mother”? Stop beating yourself and find out from those who you matter to the most.

 

3 Comments
  • Banke Oyawale
    Posted at 09:01h, 02 May Reply

    Inspirational piece and a clarion call to re-evaluate my motherhood job description. For me, major challenge is raising kids in this information age. I have observed a major disconnect in the ways kids communicate these days, the distraction and loneliness occassioned by unending chatting on social media apps. Overcoming the challenge is a big issue because parents are caught up in an uncomfortable middle ground having to keep up with tech savvy i-kids against the parents old ways. Implication is, parental model has to change. Sadly, there is no proving answer, no magic formular, no winning strategy to overcome the challenge, we can only rely on God for guidance and take desicive steps to achieve desired result. I think technology is should be encouraged but it must be managed. This can be done by engaging the kids – tell them pros and cons, enforcing parental guidance, being good role models (walk the talk), creating time for bonding to gain their trust, being vigilant. I believe with prayers, we will guide our i-kids though i-childhood/i-teenage years and eventually they will grow to become responsible i-adults.

    • theschoolofmothers
      Posted at 11:05h, 02 May Reply

      Thank you for this very insightful contribution ma’ m, it is very clear that there’s need to do more as parents especially as mothers in order not to loose these children. I do encourage every mother to educate themselves in those things that seem to be take the attention of their children. It’s imperative to understand the language they speak nowadays. My prayer is that God will help every mother, our Labour won’t be in vain in Jesus name.

  • Oluwayemisi
    Posted at 13:17h, 12 May Reply

    The entire story jumped out at me. It tells a lot about my mother and the impact she had on my siblings and I. The summary is that mothers mould the children, ‘we show them God’ through our interactions with them. We teach them to be courageous, to trust and believe in God . This compels me to always strive to be the best version of me, so they can be the best version of themselves.

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